Monday, January 7, 2008

fast forward

now that the holidays are officially over, it's really hitting me. my baby, my first born child, is about to turn five. i'm sure i'm not the first mama whose baby has turned five, but the reality of it is really starting to kick in. i just came across some of his old baby pictures, including the one above, and all of those emotions i felt as a first time mother come flooding back: the pure, unadulterated love i felt for my child, the memory of just staring at him for hours, the way his skin felt as i nursed him to sleep, and above all else the question of how any other child could possibly compare to this one? now that he's just about five, a lot of things are different. i no longer nurse him to sleep (although he would still rest next to "boo" if he could, every night), he has two little sisters, so i understand being able to love all of your children just as much and completely different, and i don't stare at him for hours on end, as if the world is pausing just for us. okay, at least not often...
with the three little ones under five years old it has been very easy to get caught up in the to-do list of the day, but as rye's special day approaches, i am beginning to realize just how fleeting this childhood thing is. in 2008 i am making it a priority to celebrate the little moments with my babies, to step back, and do more observing of them and the beauty of their play, every day.

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